How To Be Keith Richards.

crossfirehurricane:

1. Growl when you say your name, don’t squeak it like a goddamn sissy.

2. If you’re going through an 80s phase, do not turn to the mullet. Look like a pirate instead.

3. Know who your friends are.

4. Drugs problems? Nah man, you’ve got police problems.

Let me be clear about this. I don’t have a drug problem. I have a police problem. -Keith Richards

5. Be brutally honest.

6. Make questionable fashion choices.

7. Always have a bottle of Jack on hand.

8. Don’t get wasted- get elegantly wasted.

“If you’re gonna get wasted, get wasted elegantly…” -Keith Richards

9. Family comes first.

Especially the lady.

10. Last but not least,

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    5. explode teenager’s ovaries

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